Memories that Mother Brings.

Wow... I'm already in tears. I love you, mom. I love you so much. This whole feuding, bickering, and misunderstanding between my roommates and I is such a strain on me. There are times where they say something offensive, and I try to stand up for myself, but in the end they hurt my feelings. Those are the moments where I wish you were here. I wish I could just hug you and you could cradle me back and forth and let my tears dry on your shirt. My mom is the most amazing woman in the world. Heavenly Father put me in her care for a reason and she has done more than fulfill her requirements and duties as a parent. She has given up so much so that I could chase my dreams. I hope to catch up to them one day soon. She allowed me to try anything and everything. From flute to clarinet to the love of the piano my mom enriched me with the most amazing talents to teach what I was interested in. And even when it got to the point that my interest was gone and replaced with ignorance, she kept at me to help me realize my gifts, my potential, and my love for the instrument. And now, I'm the ward pianist. Imagine that. It only gets better. My mom put so much time, money, and effort into my fiery passion for dance. She would take me when I was younger to class and watch me make a fool of myself amongst my friends as I laughed and ran around the room, driving Miss Bonnie nuts. And then she would ask me every year if I wanted to try something new. Of course I would say yes, and she would sacrifice a little bit more to make it happen. She paid for costumes, went with me to find costumes, helped me with quick changes, video taped every memory and supported me with every pirouette. I never imagined that dance would be my life career choice. I just never wanted to stop. I know I am not the best dancer out there, but I'm the best dancer in my mom's eyes. And her sacrifice continued into my education. My mom knows her stuff. When it comes to education, she wanted the best for me. She knows that Heavenly Father wants all of us to get a great education and she strived for that everyday. Not only would she work all night with me to study for tests, stay up until 3am making a pop up book for an A+ on my only project for the year, and sit there as we went over the same math problem at least 20 times, but she was always at school, whether helping other parents with programs for us, or trying to switch teachers so we could get the best education possible, to speaking with the principal for unfair grading in a course. She did it all. On top of that, she did it all while working full time. And she continues to do this by giving the same blessings and opportunities to my brother. I don't know how she does it. I hope I can be as half as amazing and valiant as my mother. What an example! She brought the spirit into our home (and kept it there for as long as she possibly could). She had us all read scriptures together and to make us remember that family and the Lord always come first before anything else. She instilled good manners and kind words into our minds so that we would always strive to be kind to others. She taught us that hard work pays off and work before play is a must. She taught organization and its effectiveness in every aspect of our lives. She even taught me how to speak with a profound power during a sacrament talk so I could engage everyone listening. She taught me not to judge when first meeting someone, but to judge them on their character after working with them. She taught me who were true blue friends and who were "fickles". She taught me to love my Savior and to strive to pray to Heavenly Father, reminding me that He does listen and answer. She taught me to NEVER give up and to always finish what I start. She taught me simple things like how to clean a bathtub to life lessons on the Spirit and homemaking. She gave it all to me and I feel like a strong, beautiful, LUCKY young woman to have the best parents anyone on this temporal earth could possibly be given. I don't know how to say how grateful I am in words. A word in a dictionary cannot describe it. You have made me strong, mom. You have nourished laughter, dedication, and love into my memory and my lifestyle. You have lifted me up when I have fallen in every trial and tribulation. You know exactly what to say and when to say it. You discern what's the best for me. You keep all of my options open, even when it seems that there is less than a sliver of a chance that it is possible. You make it happen. You always pull through for me. I am forever grateful and in debt to your diligence. Thank you, thank you, thank you.  When I think of you, the warmth you bring, and the Spirit and comes with it.... I REALLY wish you were here. I want to see you and be with you. I want to hug you and kiss you. And I want to laugh with you and pray with you. Always know I am with you in spirit. It is so hard to grow up, because you have to fly from the nest. But the nest is such a wonderful place. It's a Heaven on Earth and it is something that is difficult to replicate. I love you, mommy. I love you SO much! Call me when you can. I want to hear your voice. I hope you are happy and well.
All of my love,
Your Daughter

Not Again.

Oh happy day. I'm having roommate problems again. I have no idea what I did but all of the sudden one of them hates me. She's getting mad at me about everything. How I'm not doing the dishes, doing things without asking first, making a mess and not cleaning it up, and not taking out the recycling. Of course, none of this is true. I always clean my dishes and if I feel like it, I clean theirs too. I always ask before I take a shower or have a friend over because that is what we discussed as roommates. THEY don't ask for my permission for anything! I always clean up my mess in the kitchen and I don't leave clothes and shoes lying around everywhere in my room (not that that matters because they have their own bedroom). As for the recycling, I took it out last week because it was overflowing. It started overflowing again so I figured I'd take it out again soon but I was out with a friend. The next morning, my roommate came in all upset that she had to do it because most of the recycling was mine. Well...a good chunk of it but not all of it and I did it last time so buck up. I took out the trash yesterday and it was leaking so I had to clean that gross mess. She needs to grow up a bit. I didn't even do anything! And apparently this all started in a Skype conversation I was having with my parents. My mom asked how my roommates and I were doing. I told her fine and we don't really talk much. They just kind of do their own thing in their room. But they're nice. She replied something along the lines that they seem different than me, in terms that they are more low key and quieter while I'm more bubbly and energetic. But she did not say anything bad about them. She hasn't even MET them! My mom would never judge anyone she does not know. The next day, I came home from class and was working on homework at my computer. I opened up an important email and was really focusing on reading it when she came in the door. She said hi and explained that I should not talk about them while they're home. I looked at her like...what? She explained how she overheard the conversation with my parents last night. I told her I didn't say anything bad about you guys. She said, "Not according to what your MOM said." I was offended by that. How dare you judge my mother, an AMAZING woman who raised me, taught me right, and kept a wholesome, sweet, spirit in our home. She works SO hard for both Braden and I. So don't even!!! I said I just told her we don't talk much and we don't. I wish we did. She said, "FINE." and walked into her room and slammed the door. She called someone, said "BYE!" rudely and left to go for a walk with someone. I started crying. I don't know what I did to make her so mad but this is now how roommates should act with each other. I called my dad while walking to class and he couldn't believe it. I met up with Arielle, who moved out because of the other two roommates and she explained that it's all starting again. She went through the exact same thing. I don't know what to do but I will NOT let them push me around. NOT AGAIN. I already went through that last semester. I hope that I can get a roommate soon because it is miserable living here. I'm all alone out here without a roommate, they don't talk to me, they're in their own little world. What's worst of all, they talk about me like I'm not even here. It's awful. I miss Arielle. I don't know why these girls have all of the sudden turned on  their "evil" switch....but please turn it off.

I'm an absolute GENIUS.

Had an AMAZING idea today as I trudged through 34 degree weather :( . Stacy Gaspard, a friend of mine I met here through the Spring in NY program told me about her aspirations to become famous. We giggled and enjoyed the "simple plan" of become a celebrity. Then, I thought about how I have been trying SO HARD every day to put myself out there as a performer and entertainer through mainly dance, some acting, and a little singing. Stacy wants to do the same thing!! It dawned on me!! I asked her, "Stacy, do you wanna make a music video?" She replied, "Heck yes!!" Later, I found out that she and a mutual friend, Coco, were working on song lyrics. The networking JUST in the Spring in NY Program!! I emailed Stacy right away this evening after putting it all together in my head. I think it would also help ALL of us in great ways. The Internet is SO powerful these days. I say we get a group together! People who are willing to work and take in the time to make great videos! We'll give everyone a job, something in their field of interest. Whoever likes to do photography can grab their camera and take backstage shots and headshots for all of us aspiring performers. Whoever is in film can film and edit the videos together. Whoever wants to perform can collaborate and switch off roles so we can sing, act, dance, whatevs! If someone is into publicity, they can put a website together, inform other people about the site, post to YouTube and network. What do you think?! I think we should get a whole team together! There is strength in numbers and I know it will take up a good chunk of our time but it is time well spent. We will all learn and grow from it, have a close group of friends, and it will keep us busy. It's like we already have a job, just not getting paid. Hahaha!  I really think it will help all of us. Who knows what will happen?! Maybe someone "important" will see the videos we make or notice who we put down as the editor or whatever. Things can happen! We just have to create material first. Tell me what you think. But let's work fast! We only have a semester together! Everyone benefits......I know. I'm so awesome.

It's Hot In Here!!

For  realz!! We hit 55 degrees today in NYC! I was SO happy! I was SO happy that I went on an almost 3 hour walk. I live on Union Square which is between 15th and 16th streets. I walked, NO SUBWAY WAS USED IN THIS TRIP, to 55th Street. I wanted to go further and walk in Central Park but I had to get back for an online class. This past week has gone very well and it continues to go well. The big thing going on right now would probably have to be my Fan Page on Facebook. Please become a fan and tell your friends, family, and perfect strangers to like it as well. I also got a YouTube account and just posted dance videos on it. I plan to put up more, believe me. I'm experimenting with choreography because I suck at it and I want to get better. I'm hoping many, many, many, many, many, many, many people will watch them and SUBSCRIBE! :D I hope to collaborate with some of my fellow NYU and ASU Students on this channel too! I'm keeping up to date with Twitter and  Facebook and I'm always trying to post new material. Something tells me to just check every Monday and new stuff will probably be up. I just hope that I can get people. This past week I've learned so much about myself and it all comes down to the corny phrase- I have a dream and I want to acheive it. I want it SO badly! I want to dance and sing and act and love life and meet people and network and work for amazing people and get to know celebrities and have one of a kind experiences! I want it all! I want to enjoy it. It feels SO STINKIN' CLOSE yet so farrrrrrrr awayyyy. It's a rough feeling to deal with sometimes. On the 9th, when I last posted, Sylvia and I watched "Princess Protection Program" which was a cute Disney movie that made me feel wonderful inside. After this, I looked around on the Netflix Queue and found "A Little Princess" that made me cry and jump for joy. It was so adorable!! I'd seen it before but that's besides the point. Thursday I had my work study and full day of classes. I was falling asleep in all of them. I need to go to bed earlier. I get really sleepy during the day and that my friends, is because I lose track of time and go to bed at 1am and get up at 7 or 8am...which isn't enough sleep for me. Friday I had a nice chillaxin' day. We had a substitute in tap and apparently she was blown away by the fact that whenever she gave us something, I could learn it in less than 5 minutes and replicate exactly what she did. I hardly ever practiced in there. So I worked on my acting skills. Apparently that is what I am lacking when it comes to auditions and things. I have professors and teachers and friends who are helping me with that. The weekend I kinda had plans but they all fell through. I skyped with Ashleen Piercy Saturday afternoon which made me very happy. She's a sweetheart and a funny one at that. Sunday was bliss. I got called to be the ward pianist in our church so I'm really excited about that. When I came home I just fiddled on Facebook, did some homework, and enjoyed the beautiful day. Around 7:30 I visited Stacey and Coco, two friends who live in a dormitory just a few blocks from mine. A bunch of us got together and we ate mini-cupcakes, drank soda, and watched the Grammy's. It was a TON of fun! I really enjoyed watching. ALL of the performances were absolutely spectacular and classy. LOVED IT ALL! I love music. What an amazing gift. And here we are, up to date on Today. Today I got up and did some homework, went and choreographed two and a half pieces, which you should look at on my YouTube Account. http://www.youtube.com/user/abusydancer14 :D And tell others as well. Like I said, I'm trying to get my name out there. Anyways, after that I came back and did some more homework. Then, I decided I was going to check out Times Square. I walked all the way to 55th street. I saw SO many beautiful buildings. I found the Ed Sullivan Theatre. I walked past the Museum of Modern Art. I went through Madison Square Garden. And I enjoyed taking tons of pictures through Times Square. My walk last about 3 hours. It felt great and I hope to be able to enjoy a walk like that every Monday from now on. It's better than the gym!! :D So then I came back just in time for class to start online and here I am now, eating dinner and blogging. Blog blog blog. I have dance class tonight and a CRAZY week ahead of me. I was waiting for the day that I would say this and today is the day. I LOVE NEW YORK CITY!!!! :D

Since There's a Trend Already....

So, just a quick note. I've decided to start posting videos on YouTube. One thing that I've noticed is that when it comes to dance, I'm a robot. I'm given choreography, I process it in my brain, and I perform it closest to the exactness as I can. However, there is more to dance than that. I want to EXPRESS myself.  I want to find myself, lose myself, and depending how I'm feeling, find me again. So, to do this, I want to play with choreography. Now, I'm already doing this in a class here at NYU as well as many classes about it at ASU. But I want to do my own thing now. I LOVE music. Anyone who knows me well knows I need my ipod or I will die. So, I think I will just choose a song, spend maybe an hour choreographing something to it, and then video myself performing it. And then I'll realize how badly I performed that so I'll record it like two-three more times til it's do-able and then I'll post it to YouTube. I would NEVER want to post anything performance wise of mine to YouTube. But that is definitely one of my weaknesses. Who cares how poorly I perform?! Other than everyone viewing, probably including well known dancers, performers, maybe even celebs and talent agencies. But I'm just merely planning to express me and my wants, how a song moves me and playing with different genres (preferably stuff that's not lyrical. I tend to just stay in the lyrical zone.) Anyway, keep an eye out for that. There is a dance room in the basement of the dormitory here. I plan to check out about 2 hours or so in that space and do this maybe once a week. Just play. That's all. Wouldn't that be fun?! :D I'm excited. I get to dance whatever I want!!!!

Just Read It.

Alright. We're going to talk about Justin Bieber a bit. KEEP READING. It's not what you think. I've got some "Bieber Fever" we could say, but in a different form. This all started last semester, when I thought Justin Bieber was just a dopey teeney bopper kid who sang the song "Baby" 24/7. However, Janessa Faust, a former roommate of mine said she wanted to show me a music video. I went into her room and sat with her at the computer and she popped it up on YouTube. The title was: Somebody to Love- Justin Bieber. She was about to press play and I said, "No. I'm not watching that. Little kids like him. Not adult college students like myself. No." She told me to chill and just watch. By the time that 4 minute song was over, I was hooked. The choreography amazed me. It wasn't the most intense and difficult choreography in the world (except when the breakin' crews busted out of course) but it was so clean cut and smooth. There wasn't anything provocative about it. It was fun, it kept me entertained, and it was appropriate. Then I thought, well duh, he's 16 years old. He's not going to sing about making love like his mentor, Usher. But still, I feel like he has an edge but can still get away with modesty even into his later years. That's what I want to be a part of!! As a dancer, I feel like I have to act like a slut at every audition, every performance, when it comes to making it big. Maybe I won't have to with this guy. I started reading about him, his personality, how he got his start, and his music. As I watched more and more videos and following him on Twitter, his personality shined through. What a fun kid! He seems fun to hang out and makes me laugh all of the time. He boost me up and makes me feel like I can do anything. He will probably never read this post or even know I exist, but my hope is to work with him some day. His whole thing right now is "Never Say Never". He wants everyone to dream big and acheive what they want. Honestly, being in NYC, I feel like anything is possible at times. I feel like I have access to everything. And then the next minute I feel so lost, confused, and crying, feeling like there's just no way. Justin's message has stayed with me. Whenever I go to dance class, I work my butt off. I want to perfect everything, especially my theatrical side for auditions. I hope that someday...somewhat soon, like when I get my degree, I can somehow meet him, hang out, and either dance behind or with him, and maybe eventually choreograph for him. I would not choose any other star in the entertainment industry right now. They are all wonderful in their own right. But I feel like I can be myself with Justin and I don't have to worry about how thin and sexy I look on stage because that's not JBs platform. It is so hard to explain but that is my ultimate goal at the moment. Maybe it will change. In fact, I think it will once I got back to Arizona, where the opportunity slims down to almost nothing compared to LA or NYC. But hopefully with Courtney Miller Jr's book, all of my past and present teachers and professors help, and the support of my friends and family, I can do this! :D I hope I can do this. I feel that my heart is in it. I really do.

I Feel Famous....

Sooooo...this past weekend has been PHENOMENAL!! Things are finally looking up. The end of the trial is near!! :D :D :D :D :D I know you're all going, "Finally, geez i got sick of her whining." Hahaha! But honestly, it's blown up into this huge thing all of the sudden! First of all, let's begin with the week. The last I posted was Tuesday. I apologize for the delay. Wednesday through Friday was a mess. My class schedule has changed at least 3 times. Billy, my advisor, has been AMAZING in advocating for me and doing the best he can to get my ideal classes. Many program and ideas have been switched around. Hopefully, by the beginning of this week, it will all be cleared up! So I believe it was Wednesday night, I got an email from Miss Charlye Dehart, a girl I met at church. Her birthday is February 6th and she was celebrating it the whole weekend and invited me. Through this weekend, I got to know a lot more people and now I feel popular! At long last. Hahaha! So, I woke up Friday morning and went to my Musical Theatre History II: 1930s to present class. SUPER FUN! We basically discuss and watch videos of musicals. We learned about South Pacific and the King and I. We're getting closer to Singing in the Rain era really fast. My favorite. :D Then, I went to the bookstore to buy some minor things and had a great chat with my dad. He was in Arizona at the time helping out relatives. Anyway, then I went to a little deli I picked at random and had an AMAZING lunch which consisted of a wrap with grilled chicken, feta cheese, and red and green peppers with basil vinagrette, a gingerale, veggie and sweet potato chips, and a butterfinger. It was quite wonderful. However, I am noticing that I am gaining a little weight. We will change that soon enough. Starting tomorrow I will be attending a few dance classes a week and hopefully get into a groove of a gym schedule. Then I had a meeting with one of my professors. She's a sweetheart but her name is Leslie Satin (pronouned Satan....odd....). After this, I went to my two hour tap class. I was supposed to have Friday off but now I have Mondays off so I can finally rest up a bit tomorrow. Hahaha! This two hour class is actually an advanced tap class! So I'm actually challenged! It's FANTASTIC! Love the teacher. Only like 5 students. Lots of individualized attention. And we have a history lesson of a famous tapper at the beginning of each class. Last week was Bojangles :D Then, I went home and freshened up and took the subway to meet up with Charlye and her friends. The Paul Morgan Library and Museum was fantastic!! I saw originally diaries down to the 1600s! I saw Bob Dylan's originally doodles to create lyrics. I saw original material write ups about 9/11 and some famous poets drawings and doodles. AMAZING. I learned a lot. I went into the founder's personal library and study. GORGEOUS. Red velvet EVERYWHERE!! Intense and he cared so much about collected. It was amazing. After that, I went home and went to bed early. Saturday we were all up at 5am and at Rockefeller Center by 6. You guessed it. In line for SNL Tickets!! WOO! After that, my whole group was tired and took the subway home. I stayed there and went sightseeing. I even got on Weekend Today Show! I waved as "Broadway" Bill Karins did the weather. Then, he came up to me, shook my hand, and we chatted for at least 5 minutes about school, life, and Arizona. His family lives in Chandler so we talked about Sunny AZ a lot. He was super nice and approachable. Great guy. After this, I checked out Rockefeller Plaza, the ice rink, the shops, Radio City Music Hall. It started snowing but I didn't care. It wasn't bad and I had a LOT of layers on. I walked up high enough to hit Central Park. I made a TINY dent in the huge park and it was a sight to see. Heavenly Father created such  a beautiful world and we never stop or slow down enough to notice. The snow covered everything. What a winter wonderland! I took lots of pictures. :D After this, I planned to head down to Times Square but my feet were really irritated so I went home. I had some lunch. Met up with Charlye and the group at 2pm for "Sweeney Todd" only to find out it was sold out. We decided to go back on Sunday. I went to Chelsea Market with Ashley Pacini. Really elaborate place. I went home and did some homework and fiddled on my usual social networking sites. :P After this, we met up again at Waldy's Pizza. We all bought our own personal pizza and went back to Ashley's to eat and party up with soda and Italian cake! Mmmmmm. After this, we all got back on the subway again to get in line for SNL. With our stand by ticket, we waited. We got to the FRONT OF THE LINE!! Then they said they were full. BUMMER!! We went back to Dave's apartment to watch it on TV. It was one of the best SNLs ever performed on that stage. With our host, DANA CARVEY, he did at least 3 impressions and brought back the original Church Chat skit. Guests stars like Mike Myers, Justin Bieber, and John Lovitz showed up. We were all growning out of bitterness for not being able to watch it live. My favorite would probably have been Church Chat or "the Roommate" preview. But the WHOLE show was absolutely hilarious. By then it was 1:30AM and I was exhausted. Being up for over 20 hours, I safely made it on the subway and then home and went straight to bed. I woke up the next morning for church and that evening I went to Hannah Wrights and Brenda Saunders apartment on Wall Street. We had dinner, delicious brownies, and made Valentine's Day cards for our roommates. Nate Henderson was there as well and he gave us all a hardtime being the smart alec he is. Around 9 I came home and did homework. This is when I felt famous. People were sending me messages left and right, friend requests, people asking me to hang out, and trips they want to take. All I need are dying fans wanting to take pictures with me and get autographs and i'm done! In fact, while making cards, I perfected my signature and I think I shall use it that way for the rest of my life. It's PERFECT. It's a good mix between my mom and dad's signatures actually. Therefore you can't read it at all. But that's ok, cuz it looks awesome!! Hahaha! So I've decided that I really want to go to SoHo on Monday (today) and check out all the shops and whatnot. I'm also told that all of the celebrities hang out there. I wish to spot one...maybe take a picture...maybe stalk them. Who knows?! :P It should be a good week. I hope to get famous for real...or something like that. It should be good. Night all! <3

February 1, 2011 - A Ray of Sunshine Made A Bright Day

Yesterday was quite exquisite. For one, it was 35 degrees outside, probably the warmest since I've been here. And it actually felt warm! Believe it or not you Arizona Devils!! It felt warm...yes it did...underneath all 5 layers of clothing. :P Anyway, it was a BEAUTIFUL day. What a blessing. I was feelign really down on top of being so tired. For some reason (Netflix), I was up late all weekend, including the Snow Day on Thursday and I had to get up Monday morning around 6:45am for class at 8. However, I was done with class by 10:45am. It's fantastic. :D So, what do I do after 10:45am? I walk in the complete opposite direction of home down random roads and get somewhat lost. Explore even one new street opens a whole new world in New York City! No matter where you go, you see something new. For example, the past few days, I walk along University to get to the Education Building Monday through Thursday. And every morning, I see this older man across the crosstreets of University and Waverly Place (yes,THE Waverly Place :P) and he's yelling something about the number 6 and points 6 fingers up everytime a taxi went by?? Today, he was yelling about the number 4, but still holding up 6 fingers. So confusing, but pretty funny. Anyway, I eventually found myself on 2nd Avenue and 6th Street. Right in front of me is one of the Tisch School of the Arts buildings. I walked in, went to the third floor on a really cool old fashioned elevator, and asked to speak with the Department Chair of the Dance Department. I gave them my information so he could contact me. I walked slowly home, enjoying the air, the day. Who knew that a little sunshine would make a day SO perfect. I was happy all day long! Then, I went to "le pain quotidien" and bought one of the most expensive, yet amazing meals ever. Costing just under $14, I had smoked salmon with avocado, lemon, and tomatoes with lettuce. It was really filling and REALLY good. I enjoyed my time with Courtney Scott, who I met at church and is fun to be with!! :D In addition, I bought an almond merengue which is really sweet but very good. It's like cream, hardened with a melt-in-your-mouth cotton candy like sticky sugary stuff in the middle and it's just drizzled with almonds. It's so big and so sweet, it will last me a while. After that, I returned home and started working on homework....after finish watching Meet Me in St. Louis starring Judy Garland. For some reason, I have a love for older movies now more than ever. I did my homework and then we met with Jessica, my RA, to have "base", when all of the roommates meet and discuss living arrangements....that's up in the air at the moment but hopefully this little bump in the road will pass and we'll get a regular routine going. Today was a little more stressful since I'm trying to get Tisch's attention and they won't budge....I don't want to talk about today. Today was frustrating. And I realize now that school and not having a regular dance schedule, like in studios and stuff, is throwing me off and upsetting me. At least now I can pinpoint it. But I just wish I could get another ray of sunshine....I am SO blessed.