Sick, Home Sick, and Learning....

So, this is the second time I got sick this semester....which is very odd for me. I, of course, wanted to go out and explore the city, see the sights, take dance classes, audition, all that good stuff. However, when I got sick Wednesday night, I did not take that into account. Juilliard changed my mindset. Friday night I went to a dance performance at Juilliard. My friend, Hannah Wright, was in it and she was beautiful. They all were. This reminded me of the importance of persistance and dedication to my craft. I can't allow myself to go crazy. I have to take care of my body. And being sick, I realize how much of it I take for granted. So, when my friends told me their plan to going to the Statue of Liberty, a Broadway musical, the Bronx, and a bunch of other fun things, it hurt me to turn them all down. I wanted to go, SO BADLY. But I knew that my body wouldn't allow it and that I need to speedily recover. So, I spent the whole day in my room, watching Netflix and drinking Naked juice and hot cocoa. At one point I went next door and bought a fancy sandwich for lunch, a vending machine for a treat, and Walgreens for dinner. I bought simple things and things that I needed for a well balanced diet. I need the nutrients, especially now more than ever. A perk of being sick, is that I always lose weight and slim down to a beanpole again. I love it. But now I need to keep it that way. No more junk. Which is hard to get around in college. :P So after about 4-5 movies and going into a 6th, I realized I hardly talked to anyone all day. So I called my dad. My cousin, Katy, just got baptized and they were at the party. So they passed the phone around and I got to talk to everyone. At this point, I realized how much I missed my parents. I wanted them here. I wanted to pay for 2 tickets to NYC and bring them here this instant. I love them so much. And at times where I am at a big low, emotionally or physically or spiritually or any other "ly" word you can think of, is when I want them near. They boost me up. They know exactly what to say. And for me, the hugs and kisses they give are priceless, touching, comforting, and warm. When I am sick, that is when I want at least one of them near. I want them at my side, stroking my head and handing me orange juice and watching chick flicks with me. Any other girl would want their boyfriend doing that. But I don't have one of those hahaha. And honestly, I think I'd choose my parents over him if I did. As I finished my conversations, the phone was handed back to my dad. I could tell he was closing our conversation and going to hang up. Tears streamed down my face. I'm such a sap. I had a flashback to when he left at the beginning of the semester. When I wanted to run after him but didn't and sorrowfully regretted it. I said goodbye and grabbed some tissues. I took some Nyquil in hopes I would conk out soon and fast. I love my family. I am so grateful for them. I wouldn't trade them for anything. I keep boggling with this idea of being "famous" and becoming really well known within my field, working with celebrities and "making it" in the business....and I so easily forget my blessings. This journey to the Big Apple, I thought, was about getting closer to my dream and becoming a better dancer than ever before. Instead, I got billions of trials thrown my way, a hard and REALLY fast semester to endure, and friendships I hope will last a lifetime after I leave. I don't know what will happen after graduation. I don't know if my dreams will come true, or if they change, or if they stay constant. All I know is, I WILL be happy in the future. Because I have family. I have loved ones. I have friends who are extremely supportive. I have Heavenly Father. It is all so wonderful. I've even met other LDS members who are "making it big". One is a phenomenal dancer and Miss New York City. One is a successful performer on Broadway. One is an accountant on Wall Street. They are all so humble and grateful. I try not to envy them and I definitely look up to them. I still have about 5-6 weeks left, and a family vacation after that. I hope to get more done in that time- auditions, dance classes, experiences, sightseeings, SO MUCH. But I have to get better first. And I have to be more disciplined with my body. Until next time...